smudge my cranial cavity

free me!!!

anneaida — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 15:34:54 +0000

i wish i could have the freedom of a bird..

but the sky has a limit..

i wish i could have the freedom of a fish..

but the water has a limit too..

i wish i could have the freedom of a man..

but God has set the limit..

but why do man DISOBEY it??

why do man set his or her own limitation??

r u BETTER than God??

plzz realize it my dear “mirror”..

free ur mind from setting ur OWN limitation..

obey Allah’s limitation coz HE knows the best..

now..

fly my dear airplane!!

set urself free but remember..

u will land once NO FORCE is there to sustain u..

be sure dat time will emerge if u forget the limitation!

anneaida — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 07:21:39 +0000

Indulge Myself in –> Taylor Swift : Back To December

Last nite..I dreamt about 6 kids..including me..playing “tali-getah-zero-point-what-the-heck-nama-game-ni”..hahaha..I was the one who hold the rope at one side..n a ‘u-know-who’ person was holding the other side..we were happy together..so much laughter n smiles spread around us..but suddenly..the ‘u-k-w’ dropped the rope n left us..with no words..no goodbyes..juz a simple smile n a cold look to us..

I tried to remain my composure for few times but I’m not a GREAT LIAR..i am in pain..in cave of sadness where there’s no light to guide me out..i’m being punished for sumthing I did or may not did..sumthing dat I’m not clear about n sumthing dat can never be spoken to others coz no one will believe me esp. ‘u-k-w’..hurmmm..once again in my life..i was being put in a situation where people tend to look for my mistakes n wait for me to fall apart..

When I was in Form 1..i was being ‘cursed’ n ‘smack-ed down’ by my seniors for sumtg I never did..i was pushed to agree with them or the consequences will worsen my case..i gave up n agreed with them..means that “I DID IT!! SATISFIED???”..but the person involved knew the truth n supported me til the end of my Form 1..where I ran away from dat problems by changing my school..huhuhu~

When I was in INTEK..i was being ‘bullied’ by words, curses, rumours, gossips, etc (verbal does hurt..trust me!!) ..people talked behind my back..sumtimes rite to my face..evrytg I did was wrong n never rite..dats why I decided to stay away from school by going home almost every week or lepak-ing with people dat made me happy n trust me eventhou harsh words keep pouring into my life..ughhh!! I used to FLY..ESCAPE from any meetings..SPEND my days at the corner of my room or class..but I always get the limelight whether for a GOOD things or BAD things..people still looked down on me..my GOODNESS will never be enouf..n BAD-XXS will always be the top cherry..whyyyyy??? even my bestfwens since childhood ran away from me n dunt trust me..i guess I was never been a good fwen to anyone at all..yup!!

N rite now..it happens again..i guess my wheels r having the 3^rd spins..hahaha..I was being put in a pot full of ‘not-my-words’ or ‘not-my-intention’ or ‘not-what-I-mean’…ughhh..i was never given a chance to speak out the harsh reality..i kept it all inside..wrapped up n never to be open again..but I guess it was never air-tight enouf n it leaked again..n diz time..nothing I could do..but kept saying sorry to ‘u-k-w’ n myself..i dragged my fwens wit me where I shudnt hve..no one shud make any judgement..n so do i..but I was to blame..it was my mistakes..n I am sorry..i always rmmbr the ‘rm100-biskut-beras-words-of-wisdom-selendang-itam-hospital’s-visit-nescafe-maggi-chocs-nasi-kat-umah-hadiah-kawin-abg ije-minyak-kete-t-shirt-n-mcm2 laa’..i’ll never forget it..but rmmbr..u know more bout Islamic values compared to me-who-r-helpless-n-clueless..do make a better judgement than I am..take cre dear!!

shushhh!! it’s all about me..

anneaida — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 11:15:20 +0000

itz been like years since my last lil writing..i dunt detest my blog or decide to ignore it forever..itz juz..eemmm how do I wanna say diz to make it clear to EVERYONE???

letz reminisce the past for a moment..the real reason why diz blog was created was to let my inner feeling n imagination flow out appropriately witout harming others..do u get it?? heh..I juz wanna said sum words dat couldnt be spoken by a sound of my husky voice..cewahhh..ehemm2..n I never expected to hve more than 5 viewers..at 1st it was fun to hve sum1 read ur blog..then I felt like “NO!! baca blog orang len laa..gua punyer xbest pon…huhu”

People started to judge me by my blog..

people started to talk about me by referring to my blog..

n people started to stalk me thru my blog..

~~n I was like ” What THE HECK!!!”~~

I admit it was my mistake for promoting my link at my FS or FB or FX or FYZQWF..wat sooo evaa!!!! n at the end of the day..my link was like spreading bersepai..ughhh..I dunt mean to be harsh but my blog was not a way to spread ilm a.k.a but I spread my feelings n thouts dat doesnt concern wit any1 else..huhu..

N truly.. at diz very moment..I ha8 dat sum of my fwens know sumtg dat I prefer it to be in the dark..itz not dat I dunt wanna share..but I prefer to tell every1 when the time comes..when I feel like itz oke to tell..where nothing else was attached to it or concerned with it..

so HERE WE GO..

I guess I’m done trying to be sumtg dat I’m not..n I really am gonna change..I’m sorry but my family comes first n so as sum hearts dat I prefer to be protected than to hurt them..n a person had said to me..”It’s better to take care of ur heart 1st sumtimes bcoz other people may not take care of it as good as u are”..thx dear..I guess diz is it..

pergghhhh!!!

tmrow is the last paper on earth..

anneaida — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 03:44:53 +0000

one more paper..

but its not the end of my journey..

i’ll fight..

eventhou..

i cried..

i nagged..

i screamed..

but still..

i’ll walk to the battlefield

wit a piece of strength..

n hopes dat never fade..

-by a girl-wh0-loves-her-”stripes”-more-than-her-”dots”-

Good Luck for Ur Final Exam!

anneaida — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 09:19:19 +0000

Just a Dream..Reality is Harsh my dear..

anneaida — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 02:09:11 +0000

I’m back to ground zero..hehe..the place I feel safe n secure..where the people care bout me..where people seek for me..where people never ignored me..where the place I wish “dreams do come”..but when I step out from it..I feel so out of earth..insecure..brutally kill-emotionally..love-will-never-be-enouf..aahh?? what am I babbling about??? huhu..

I wish I wont get out from this place..I came to this place early in the moring bcoz I couldnt find a way to ease my mind n soul..I guess Allah created me this shelter so dat I feel safe again n make me realize dat He’s always by myside..human beings always hope and hold on to sumtg dat is real for their naked eyes..dats normal n fitrah..but remember to grasp for Allah..make it our first priority..

In about 5 mins..I’ll be out from diz place..n reality will bite me back..n I try to take it in eventhou the pain hurts like hell..but it wont kill me..I knoe I can stand tall..thou I still need my fwens by myside..haha..thx dear girlfwens for being there thru out diz weekend..it was FUN..love u girls!!

My new tones –> Nelly : Just A Dream

(thinking bout us..)

My Dad is Turning 50 TODAY!! aminn~

anneaida — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 00:34:40 +0000

Love U Dad

u have been the person I love the most in my life

Thanks Dad

u have always been my strength and be there for me..

Sorry Dad

for any mistakes I’ve done and for hurting ur feelings..

May ALLAH bless u always my dear DADDY

Happy BepDay..u r 5o now..I’ll buy 50 bola golfs laa..

Let’s do pray together and may Allah place u in the best Jannah as u r the greatest dad ever..aminn~

IKOD 2010..done!!

anneaida — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 13:22:40 +0000

This is my last event..for this sem..hehe..wanna prepare for FINAL TOUCH for FINAL EXAM..yeahh!!

Overall..SANGAT-SANGAT BAGUS!! hehe..and my fwens of OC committees (OPENING CEREMONY DIVISION) best gilerr ahh..CONGRATZ to every1 of u who had done a great job n being the most “fun-to-be-with-and-work-with”..weee~

and..I AM HAPPY for being given the time to spend with my 2 best fwens ever..love u dearsss..

and lastly..I love playing netball with my classmates eventhou no goals for 6 matches..haiyoo!! but I was having fun n laughed the most..thanks every1..and thanks a bunch to the person who always being a dear to me..

Listen to –> Maher zain : Rest of My Life

( teringat Mamat malam Concert tuh nyanyi and trus asyik dgr lagu ni..ntah knape laa kan..hahaha!! )

Love Dat Still Last..4eva~

anneaida — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 16:24:10 +0000

I saw the last image in my mind dat I miss the most :

3 best fwens walk away from

a spot

where they hug n kiss..

Who would ever thout..

I still mizz the moment where we hang out together..

laughing like thunder..crying like waterfall..talking like popcorn..

hahaha!!

anyway..I mizz us being together..

only 3 of us..

3 A = Ayuni,Afiqah,Anis..

The song dat reminds me of our moments together –> Couple : Say HI!!!

(teringat kepala n bahu2 sekali goyang2..hahaha!!)

I’m Soooorrry dear..

anneaida — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 21:02:16 +0000

I really am..I knoe I’ve made u mad or angry or xtenang..ampunn..I promise I wont hang up camtuh lagi..I juz dunt wanna be such a persuasive person by dragging u like u r my toys..u r my dear fwens..u have feelings..n my silence does not sound like an abandoned library..just like an abandoned periuk belanga jep which u can open later on..hehe..luv u dear especially what u wrote on my plastik smpah..kureng sungguh!!!

Song for a very fluffy n srubby bestfwen..love u always :